Twenty-Seven. Gaaahhhh, I'm getting OLD. Ok, ok... let me explain because I know many of my friends are getting really sick of me saying this. It's kind of like when your super hot friend who obviously never misses a workout (not mentioning any names) comes around saying she's getting fat and you want to knock her out because if that's what "fat" looks like, I want to be fat too. But then she always tell me, "You know what I mean... not fat, I'm just not where I want to be right now." Yea... I know exactly what you mean. Maybe in the broad spectrum of what this world calls life, twenty-seven is hardly old. But according to my own personal scale of life acomplishments, I'm not where I thought I'd be right now. Well, wait. Let me jump back a few years... About a month before my twenty-fifth birthday I cried almost daily up until the big day. It sounds awfully dramatic and while it totally was, in my own little world I was devestated. I went into what I like to call my "Quarter Century Life Crisis." Looking back, it doesn't even seem that bad. Yet, at the time I was struggling to get through the hell some call beauty school, in between second jobs, broke as hell and pretty broken. I was no longer in my early twenties and I could see thirty right around the corner. I had already acomplished a failed marriage, was in the middle of a crumbling relationship and I felt like everything else that the movies tell you you're supposed to have before your thirties (you know... that fancy car, a snazzy husband, nice career and white picket-fenced house) were no where near my grasp. I was a twenty-five year old 24/7 single mom who was struggling to make my car payment, fighting to keep a relationship, find a second job, and just struggling in general to find myself. Twenty-five ended up being a really hard year. I focused a lot on what I wasn't acomplishing, and had to be hit pretty hard with some pretty big lessons. And I'm a stubborn girl. I like to think of myself as being smart- educated and logical- but let's be practical here... sometimes I can be my own worst enemy and sometimes I can be a really big idiot. And it just so happens that for the whole twenty-fifth year of my life, I was nothing short of an idiot. I put my energy and focus into the wrong people and wrong things, BUT it ended up being one of the most developmental years of my life. I grew a lot as a mother, as a friend, and as a human being. I lost a lot, let go of a lot, and learned what was really important in life. I've learned to let go of those life expectations. I may not be married or own a house. Accoriding to society, my family may be considered "broken" but in reality it's far from that. I am happy. I'm in no rush to settle down. Theres a guy in my life who makes me smile and friends who I know will never let me down. I'm in the beginning of an awesome career that I love, I (almost) own my car, and I am the mother to the funniest, most amazing, loving little girl on the planet. She views her life as fortunate, she knows she's blessed, well taken care of, and her attitude reflects gratitude. We're far from broken. We're exactly where we need to be. I'm exactly where I need to be. It may not be where I thought I'd be at twenty-seven, but if I've learned one thing in the past few years of growing up it's that trying to make life plans is just setting yourself up for dissapointment. Set goals and work hard, but take each day as it comes and enjoy it to it's fullest. You can't control the future, and life isn't always smooth sailing. But don't take the good for granted despite any struggles you may encounter. I really started to appreciate all I had during my twenty-sixth year of life. I laughed a lot more, and enjoyed the people around me. I also got to know myself a lot better and nothing beats that. At this point I can say I'm somewhat excited at this getting older business and can't wait to see what twenty-seven entails.
Posts
